yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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