This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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