Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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