WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
