Sry I called you an 8
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
