Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
