wakey wakey hands off snakey
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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