I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
