That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
