Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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