This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
