Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
