i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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