Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
