i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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