New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
