Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
