You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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