she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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