Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
