Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
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Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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