THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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