heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
