what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
