I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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