so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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