so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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