i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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