Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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