Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
