What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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