He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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