i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
