God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
