Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
