Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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