I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
