She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
