He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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