I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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