You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
