I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize