Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
