how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
