I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
