I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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