capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
