then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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