Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
