the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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