Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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