Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
