Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
