This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
