butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
