More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
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I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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