I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
