I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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