I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had to cum in my sink.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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