We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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