with your own penis?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
