Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize