It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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