Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
